Weight Update

Had a good weekend. Played Forgotten Realms on Friday. Ate chips. On Saturday we bought some comics, and a small, grape, Arctic Freeze from DQ. On Sunday, I had two chocolate peanut butter no-bake cookies. I was having some issues keeping away from carbs as you can see. I don't know what my problem was. It was snack snack snack all weekend. But this morning, I weighed myself and I was down to 234! I have a feeling the weekend is going to come back and bite me in the butt. Probably Tuesday or Wednesday no doubt. Though, even if it does, I know I'll be back to 234 by Friday, because that's how it's been going lately.


To talk about the nutritional stuff now, we had baked salmon for dinner last night, with roasted vegis (green beans, wax beans, carrots, mushrooms and onion), and flavored rice (from a box). It was soooo good. The salmon was a bit overcooked and thereby dry, because I'd purchased it frozen. And I was having trouble getting it to the right temp. It was still quite tasty though.

Overall I didn't eat all that much, even with the naughty foods I have listed above. I calculated the calorie cost for what I ate yesterday and it was about 1000 cals. I don't know what it was for Saturday, but seeing as I didn't eat all that much, it was probably no more than 1500. So although all those things sound really bad by themselves, I'm pretty good at making up for it by eating less in other areas. Also, I'm not drinking caloried beverages either, which makes my calories far less than what they used to be.

One more thing... in NSV (non-scale victories), yesterday I had to do laundry, and I wanted to wash all my normal summer clothes. It was so hot though, that I didn't want to wear pants. So I looked in my closet and found a skirt that I had grown out of, and tried it on. It fit!! :D How exciting is that? It was a little tiny bit tight, but comfortable enough to sit down in. I wore it the rest of the day, and I have to say... I looked great in it. lol



Current weight: 234lbs.

Official Weigh In Day

Weighed in this morning. 2 weeks from the day after surgery, my official weigh in day, till I make it something different. Should I make it Monday? So it's exactly from when I got banded? Or leave it Tuesday, so it's from the first time I weighed myself after banding? It should probably be Sunday, the day before banding, but I didn't weigh myself that day, and they didn't weigh me the day of surgery.

Conundrum.

So Tuesday it is. For now. And back to my weight... I was down .2 of the pounds that I was up yesterday, so I'm almost back to 238. I've heard from other people that most go up a bit and then drop dramatically. I hope that's me! lol. The .2 brought me to exactly 239 lbs. Had I lost just .1 more pounds I would have been back at 238. That would have been good. I like that number. I would like 237 even better!

I was really good eating wise yesterday. I had 1/2 chicken breast for breakfast, with a couple bites of applesauce, and the same for lunch. For dinner I had about 1 1/2 cups of Turkey Pumpkin Chili, and a teaspoon of light sour cream to top part of it. Other than that it's been water, or decaf tea with Splenda, which I don't drink after meals. Oh, and my vitamins. Yum yum.

I need new goals for this week, which I should have set Monday, but I couldn't think of what I wanted them to be. I have now though, so here they are:

1. French, 20 mins per day.


2. Work out in the gym at least 2 times this week.


3. Walk 30 minutes each day I'm not in the gym.


4. Get to 235 lbs. by Sunday.

I think these are do-able. So wish me luck!

Current weight: 239 lbs.

Little Update

Good afternoon!!

Just a little update. Things are going well. Healing well. Went to see my surgeon Friday, and was cleared for regular foods, which I was kinda already doing anyway. lol

So I made my 239 goal yesterday, and as of this morning I'm 238 pounds!! Woohoo! After researching on my Wii Fit, looking back at my history since we had it, I actually got down to 238 last year in May not long after we got the Wii Fit, because we were playing it obsessively. So I am now officially as low as I was a year ago, only this time, instead of going back up after wards, this time I will continue going down. Yay!! This is SO exciting! OMG.

2 more pounds and I will be 20lbs. down from the day after surgery. So that's my next mini-goal... 236 lbs.


Current weight: 238lbs.

Just Short...

The question for the morning is; Did I meet my goals? hmm... lets see:

So as you already know, I did one set of "Squat/Shoulders/Sky". I never got a second one in because my legs hurt too much.

2 hours + of French yesterday!! C'est Magnefique!! (spelling?? lol)

Shakes were already made. I have a frozen one in my bag, thawing for lunch.

No 20 minute walk, was replaced by 30 minutes of Yoga!

Weight: Barely 240!

I lost .7 pounds this morning, which put me .2 pounds away from 239. I'm hoping that by tomorrow I will have lost that other .2 pounds to make it to 239. That will be SUPER exciting. I haven't seen the 230's in over 2 years!!

I have my surgery follow up this afternoon with Dr. Yarbrough, where he tells me it's ok to eat solid foods again. Though, I'm going to try to stick to the shakes till I make 235 lbs. That way I'm solidly in the 230's before I risk putting real food in my mouth every day.

I'm going to try baked chicken tomorrow. I know I've already done chicken, but the chicken I did was processed, deep fried and sauced. So although it went down ok, that doesn't mean that normal, baked and DRY will go down as well. I have a lemon pepper marinade that I'm going to cook it in. Hopefully that will help.

So, I'm not under 240 yet. That's ok, I still lost some weight. At least I'm not stalled out.


Current weight: 240 lbs

Holding Steady

How did I do on my goals yesterday?

I got in 1 set of "Squat/Shoulders/Sky"

I didn't get any French in. Just plain forgot.

I made enough shakes for today and tomorrow, and maybe a little leftover for Saturday.

I got in a 20 minute walk with my daughter. It was actually 25-30.

Still at 240, so I haven't gotten to 239 yet. No progress at all on that front.


So my legs are sore from the "Squat/Shoulders/Sky" yesterday, but I did manage to get one in already this morning. I just need one more to make my goals today. I had my shake this morning, like a good girl. Just 8 oz., as directed.

On my weight: Yesterday when I got home, I jumped on the Wii to see if I was down any, but unfortunately I was actually up 2 lbs. I guess that's what I get for weighing twice in a day. Naughty naughty. So I weighed in again this morning. That 2 lbs was gone, and I was back to the even 240 that I was before. That was a relief. I was so worried that that extra 2 would stick.

I'm going to work really hard to make sure my goals are met today. Also, I forgot my lunch. (half a can of chicken ranchero chili that I prepared in a dish to bring to work.) So I'm totally pissed at myself for that. I don't know if I want to go home and eat that or just get something here. Going home would be far cheaper, even with gas prices... I'll probably do that.



Current weight: 240 lbs.

Awesome Din-Din

Dinner. What an interesting time of the day! I'm supposed to still be on mushies, but it's a lot of work to put stuff into a food processor or blender after it's been cooked, and I like to eat dinner with my family. Last night the family was having these small bbq chicken bites (prepackaged) with mashed potatoes and cooked broccoli.
When it came time for me to plate up I got down one of those little salad plates that's about half the size of a regular plate, and added 1 chicken bite (my first since banding), a spoon of broccoli, and a spoon of potatoes. When comparing my plate to my family's plates there was a drastic difference. I found it quite amusing.

Out of the 4 of us, my son was the first to finish, then my boyfriend. My daughter is always slow, so it's to be expected. I was there grinding away at my one chicken piece still, having only had that and a couple bites of the other stuff. I was the very last person to get done, with the smallest amount eaten. Boy, was it tasty though. Just to be safe, all my chicken bites were about the size of the tip of my pinky finger. Then I mashed up that chicken in my mouth to a nice grainy paste.

It all went down fine. When I was done I leaned back in my seat and felt nice and full. A little over "comfortably full" but not enough to make me sick. Definitely far less than the Home Town Buffet feeling. (That, by the way, is how I judge too full, that feeling like I just went to Home Town Buffet and got my monies worth is way too full.)

This feeling is very exciting, and I'm happy that I'm feeling it. It makes me very happy to think how much this band is doing for me already, just in the week since I had surgery. I told my boyfriend that I felt like I'd had seconds of his size plate. That was how full I was. He laughed.

By the way, I lost another .7 lbs as of this morning. This puts me at 240 pounds!!! I am not yet looking at the something point something weights, because I'm losing so fast I'm just rounding to the current pound. This puts my loss at 14 pounds since last Monday!!!! That's just crazy. I'm hoping it'll be another pound and a half to put me at 239 by tomorrow, so cross your fingers for me. I'll be in the 230's if I make it!! Yipee!


Current weight: 240lbs.

Sick

I think I'm going to be sick. I ate waaaaay too much for lunch today. This morning, I had a pack of donut gems for breakfast, and decided that I would be really good and only do slim fast for lunch. It was really a great idea in the making... BUT...

So I drank my Slimfast on the way to the anesthesiologist today, for the second part of my pre-op, and they happen to be literally 10 feet from one of the cafés in the hospital. This café had all these cool things, like vegan donuts, and odd sandwiches with gouda cheese on them. MmmMmmMmm Gouda! I love gouda! So naturally I bought one...of each: sandwich, donut, and chai tea with soy! About $7 bucks worth of food. I didn't eat the sammy right away, but I went to town on the donut, and chai, while driving the few blocks over to my work.

When I got back to work, I had the appointment during my lunch hour, I discovered that there was free lunch here from Baja Fresh. I was going to skip it, but it was free and it smelled really good. I proceeded to grab a plate and add a tortilla, some chips, some beans, some chicken and some salad, and guacamole to that plate. From there I went back to my desk and shoveled it into my face. Boy, was it tasty. Oh, almost forgot to mention, I got one of those monster cookies too. As I was walking by one of the supervisor's desks he called me and said they had cookies for giveaway too. And yes... I ate that too. Ugh.

Once I completed that meal, I looked longingly over at the paper bag that held that wonderful sammy with the yummy cheese on it. After a bit of rationalization it seemed like such a waste to just let it sit there where it might be forgotten, or get yucky before I could eat it, thereby going to waste. I opened it up, and slopped on the mustard and mayo that came with it and ate it. I ate 98% of it, that is. When I was at about 78% I thought how it wasn't that great of a sandwich, and why was I still eating it? For some reason, though, I kept on till it was almost gone. Finally I stopped and threw the last two bites away.

Sitting here now, I'm just stuffed. So stuffed I could almost puke. I feel just gross. I wish I hadn't eaten that sandwich, or the donut and definitely not the freakin' cookie.

I'm such a spaz.


Current weight: 250lbs (+)
Time to surgery: 4 days!

Nutritionist-Part 2

Wow. I thought I had already posted on my trip to the nutritionist, but apparently I forgot.

I went to see the nutritionist as part of my required "making sure she'll comply" appointments. I also saw the psychologist (or maybe psychiatrist??) to talk about my history and the reasons why I'm overweight. I think I did pretty good at that one.

BUT

Then they weighed me in. I experienced complete shock. I thought I'd been doing well at loosing weight. After all, I'd set up my first appointment expressly to give myself some easy to lose weight. So on this appointment, I should have lost some good weight. Nope. Not me. I GAINED weight. Gained. Yep, that's right you heard it. I gained 5 lbs.

5 pounds is not that big a deal normally, but I only have another month to lose the first 10 they asked me to lose. So now, I have a month to lose a total of 15 pounds. FIFTEEN.

Hrrumpf.

Current weight: 262 (I think... I'll check my paperwork and fix this later)
Time to WLS approval: 2.5 months

Nutritionist

I'm going to the nutritionist tomorrow at my bariatric center. I have another appointment with them tomorrow as well, but I can't remember what it's for. This is another step in the long road to WLS. I'm hoping to get my actual surgery by early June at the latest. If all goes well I will! :)

I've been having a lot of issues with heartburn and reflux lately. I'm hoping it's just because of my fat, and not because of some new cancer in my chest. I'm finding spicy foods hard to tolerate, yet I still eat them because they are good. mmm tacos and pepperoni!

Current weight: 255 lbs.
Time to WLS approval: 2.5 months

2nd Time Around

So Xmas is over, and the year is too (or will be soon). Which means that my rescheduled banding is coming up. January 22nd is my consult. I waited too long to schedule it and that was the soonest they had available. (I know, right???)

I'm looking forward to it, but I'm worried that something will happen and for the 3rd year in a row I won't be able to get banded. I'm so sick of waiting to be thin. Holding on to the extra pounds so that I don't get rejected by my insurance. I wish sometimes that I'd just started exercising way back in the beginning, then maybe I'd be skinny by now. Then I realize that, no, I would not be. I would just be yo-yo dieting, because, if I could do it by myself I would have done it years ago.

This time I hafta do it though. Even if I do get rejected or put off. I won't be able to get my new bewbs till I lose at least 75 lbs.

So, wish me luck that I'll get banded. TTYL.

Current weight: 252'ish
Time to WLS approval: 2-3 months?

3 Months to Go

I have three months to lose all the weight I gained. I'm pretty sure I'm still hovering around 250. At least I hope it hasn't gone higher. My scale is out of batteries, and I haven't had a chance to put new ones in. Maybe I am putting it off because before the battery went dead I was obsessing. I weighed myself 3-8 times a day. Like, every time I went to the bathroom for anything.

Now that Xmas is over this weight loss thing should be pretty easy though. * crosses fingers *
I've already started cutting back on food again. I'm sick today, and feeling pretty much like crap. I had a temp of 101 degrees yesterday. The fever is gone today, but I'm coughing pretty roughly. I was dry heaving in the sink this morning because of a rough cough.

Well, I just wanted to give you guys an update so you could see how I was coming along. Not well, as you can see. lol.




Current weight: ??
Time to WLS approval: 3 months.

Now I'm here, How do I get down?

Ok, so I made it to my gain goal of 250. I wanted to be safe and have a cushion against the next few months of dieting. I hate being here. This is my highest weight ever. It was where I got to that made me decide to get the WLS. It was before I started eating like a WLS'er and before I lost 10 pounds. I had gotten down to 239 at one point before I tried regaining the weight. The weight was hard to gain back.

It took me several weeks to get to 246'ish, and then several more to get to 250. Now I'm tipping the scales in the evening to 251... and I'm trying to get back to dieting and I'm failing miserably. I had trained myself not to eat, then trained myself to eat more, and now I'm trying to get back into loosing again, although slower this time.

I feel like I'm superman, trying to stop a speeding train. You know how in the cartoons it takes him several blocks before the train actually stops? And his feet drag on the ground pulling up the all the train ties? Well that's me. I'm fighting this big train that just wants to keep moving on inertia.

I will be so happy to see 249 239 again. lol.


Current weight: 250
Time to WLS approval: 4 months, 9 days.

I want off the rollercoaster.

Yesterday's weight: 250
Ok, this is where I need to be to start my diet. To make sure that I won't lose too much thereby blocking my surgery. It sure don't feel very good though!

I hate weighing this much. My ankles hurt, my feet hurt, and my knees feel like they'll split open whenever I bend them. Luckily I'll be able to lose a little soon. I'll lose about 10-12 pounds over the next 5.5 months. So that's about 2 pounds a month if I want to stay safely over the BMI limit.

Yay me!!

Every day that goes by I get more excited. More hopeful. I read blogs of people who have already had the surgery, there seems to be a proliferation of people who got banded or RNY in the year 2005. So luckily for me, I am able to read the entire story. From the struggles to the easy-peasy. I hope I fall into the easy-peasy category. I don't want to be obsessed with food every day of my life. I'd like to be the ".. it's ok. I like food, I eat food, I just eat less food" people.

Awesome Quote~

I just loved this quote from this site:
http://www.weightlossdaily.org/

(This is the specific article)

The whole article is awesome, but this quote kinda sums up the lapband and, really, any WLS. So check it out!!

"Surgery is not the magic pill we have all been waiting for. You will not wake up thin. You must be willing to meet the band half way. You will lose weight at a different pace than your friends. You must change your behavior for this to work. It is a tool-and nothing more. An electric mixer is easier than mixing by hand but you still have to follow the recipe for the cake to taste good."

Food

The things we learn about food when we're forced to eat too much:

• Food is gross!
• Don't eat too much.
• Food is gross!
• I don't like that.
• Food is gross!

Okay, okay. Enough on my food is gross thing. That's just it though. I've been on this thing trying to gain a little weight now so I'm not under my minimum weight to have my WLS. I thought it would be easy, just go back to eating like I was before I started dieting, and Viola! There's that ten pounds you lost.

What I didn't count on was that my stomach was smaller from not eating so much, so when I tried to eat more..... *blech* Food is gross. For the past few days I have been consuming an average of 3700 calories per day. I'm eating the worst for you stuff I could find and I hate it.

I always used to laugh at my boyfriend. There was a time when he was only 140 lbs, and he's 6'1". He was always upset because he was "too skinny" which makes sense for a guy and especially one that tall. He was always trying to gain weight, but pretty much no matter what he did it didn't happen. Eventually, and after much laziness and stomach expanding, he was able to gain weight and looked pretty normal, no longer skinny. Now, he's gotten used to being lazy and eating alot and he weighs more than he wants... go figure! LOL So he's a little on the chunky side.

So, my point on that was, that I used to laugh at him, when he tried to gain weight. That whole, "If only I had that problem!" I wanted to be too skinny too, and now, although I am obviously not too skinny for most things (I'm actually morbidly obese) I am nearly too skinny to get the surgery I need to no longer be morbidly obese. So now, I had 10 days... yes, only 10 days, to gain 10 pounds. Yikes. Well, not 10 whole pounds, more like 8, I had already gained 2 in the weeks leading up to this. I succeeded in gaining 5. I didn't gain 10. I gained 5. Arg. And today is the day I'm supposed to reduce my calories by 200. Luckily I was fibbing on my tally, and where my Diet Coke should be, I put in Coke. So I have a fictitious extra 300 or so calories I can take away without actually doing it.

I'm truly afraid, that when I start cutting the calories back, my body will do what it wants to do and lose weight. I know, again, that sounds horrible. After all, my whole goal is to lose weight, and you know what? I could. I could lose some weight without the surgery. BUT. I could probably only lose about 30 pounds. Where will that get me? I'll be too skinny to get the surgery, I'll be stuck at that weight -- which is still too heavy, and I will eventually gain it back, because that's how life is. I won't have anything stopping me from eating too much, I'll become complacent and my stomach will stretch from eating just a little too much - often - and food will no longer be gross. I'll gain it back and then more, and my skin will stretch more and my stretch marks will get worse. I'll be 300 pounds and really need the surgery but then I'll not have a job because I lost it after a bout of depression caused me to stay home too much and I won't have insurance and I'll just get even bigger!!!!! Or, my sleep apnea will kill me while I sleep.

Ok, so a little melodramatic, but that's just me. These are my fears and I don't want to live like this anymore.

Eating and Tracking

So, as you know I'm on the doctor monitored weight-loss plan. I'm 7 days into my 10 day tracking. Here's the google calender that you can see what I ate on:



(Note: I think you need a google account to see it...?)

You can see if you view it that I'm doing a very good job eating like a fat girl. I even gained back about 3 of the pounds I lost recently. It's upsetting to see that on the scale, but ultimately my goal is to get the surgery so I can see ALOT fall off. So if that means sacrificing my dignity for a few months, so be it. I've been fat for 10 years. A few more months isn't going to cause me any more distress. Is it?

I did pad it a little so I have some wiggle room to cut calories without losing too much weight. Most of the "Coke" you see on there is actually Diet Coke. No calories. I put it as regular coke so I can cut an easy 200 calories out of my diet, thereby extending the amount of time it takes to lose the weight.

I'm figuring at the rate that he has me cutting calories I'll lose about 16 pounds. Not good. I need to figure out how to cut that in half or less. Preferably like a pound a month average.

Dr. Monitored Diet

For my insurance I need to have a 6 months, doctor supervised diet plan.
I went to my PCP yesterday, because he's fastest. He gave me this:

For 10 days, keep track of what you eat and average the calories.
At the end of 10 days, subtract 200 calories from your average and stick to that.
Continue for 2 weeks at that reduced calorie level, and continue to lower by 200 calories every 2 weeks after (till my 6 months is up).

Oh, and exercise.

Sounds like a good plan, I think.
I still have to be at >40 bmi at the end to qualify for surgery, but since this diet plan is so slow, I think that will happen ok.

Doomed.

Ok, so I'm starting to think fate is against me.
I woke up this morning and checked my scale. I'm at 239 lbs. Only 8 pounds away from not being able to get the surgery. This wouldn't be bad, except that I've been eating like a pig to gain 10 lbs for the last week. So instead of gaining.... I lose a pound. Yeesh. If this keeps up I'll never make the 6 months without going below 231.

This should make me happy. All my life, well, mostly for the last 10 years of it, I've struggled to keep the weight off, wishing I could lose weight easier. So now, now I am. I'm losing weight without even trying. While trying to GAIN weight, and what am I? I'm bummed. I'm disappointed because I know as soon as I give up on the surgery, because I've hit the 231 mark, I'll start gaining weight again and I'll have to start all over again on the lap band thing. It wouldn't be that bad except that I've got to do the 6 months diet plan and at the end I still have to be over 231!!!

Anyway, I know this is a silly thing to complain about so... yay. I lost a pound without even trying.... yay.

Keeping it on. Part Duex

Ok, I just want to put this down here because I might forget. I just did the BMI calculations, and as long as I stay over 231 lbs. for the next 6 months I'll be ok for surgery. I called my insurance company and they said that they use the weight after the 6 months doctor supervised diet. I'm at 243 lbs. right now, so I can't lose more than 12 lbs. in 6 months. That shouldn't be too hard, right?

I suspected that this would be the case, so I am on a binge right now to gain another 5 lbs so that I won't lose too much during that 6 months. Ugh. I've been researching this lap-band thing for months, and have been actively practicing my post-op eating habits in anticipation of the surgery so my stomach has shrunk. This over-eating is making me sick, literally. I feel like puking most of the time and my digestive system is going crazy. How did I eat all this food before? I know I did. I look at what I'm eating now and it's less than what I ate before I started all this, but it feels like so much. My mind is not reacting well either. The last thing I want to do is gain weight, but if it will help me get approved for my lapband then I'm all for it.

On other news, speaking of that 6 mos diet. I talk to my doc Monday about starting that. So hopefully, if all goes well, 6 mos from Monday will be my surgery date. This means I'm looking at April 1st. LOL April fools day. That ought to be interesting.

Borrowed (stolen) 50 Things

50 Things to do instead of snacking

borrowed from this website: http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

1. Imagine the new healthier you
2. Walk around the block
3. Call a friend
4. Make a list of your Top Ten Reasons to Lose Weight
5. Make a To Do list
6. Turn on music and dance
7. Jot a thank you note to someone
8. Go to bed early or take a nap
9. Read a book
10. Blog or journal
11. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure
12. Plan a healthy meal for your family
13. Surf the Internet
14. Finish an unfinished project
15. Walk your dog, pet your cat, feed your fish
16. Brush your teeth
17. Balance your checkbook
18. Say a prayer (I'm agnostic, so for me it's "Tell someone you love them")
19. Chop veggies to keep on hand
20. Give a massage
21. Clean out a junk drawer
22. Play a game with your kids
23. Try a new route on your walk
24. Drink a glass of water
25. Kiss someone
26. Try on some of your clothes
27. Look at old pictures
28. Rent a video
29. Wash your car
30. Take a hot, soothing bath
31. Update your calendar
32. Work in your yard
33. Start your holiday shopping list
34. Count your blessings
35. Write a letter
36. Fold some laundry
37. Check your e-mail
38. Give your dog a bath
39. Send a birthday card
40. Meditate
41. Hug someone
42. Rearrange some furniture
43. Light a fire or some candles
44. Put your pictures in an album
45. Plan a trip (real or imaginary)
46. Straighten a closet
47. Clean out a files
48. Visit a friend
49. Clean out your trunk
50. Do something nice for someone