Finally...

Well, I got a new fill last week. I'm up to 6cc's total at this point. I'm really tight, but I'm also at TTOTM. I got my fill the first day of it (last Thursday), so I'm watching to see that it loosens up in a few days so I can eat a bit better. In either case I've lost about 7 pounds since the fill. I'm stoked. I had gotten back up to 197 lbs, not too bad, but still not good. Now I'm back to 190.

I'm hoping to be back to 185 in the next few days. I'm still riding my bike to work a few days a week. Including this morning.

I'm beginning to think my bike is unlucky though. I've been late to work almost every time I've taken my bike to work. I've forgotten my badge, I've not had access to the bike cages, I've left a few minutes late because of bad planning... etc. This morning I was almost late, my chain slipped off!! Luckily I was coming around the corner about a block from work and I still had about 7 minutes left. (Better planning today. heh) I walked/ran to lock up my bike and made it in on time 'ish.

Anyway, I'm off to play Facebook games. Have a great day everybody!! :)

Current weight: 190lbs.

Weight Update

Back to 195 thanks to my bike! Yay! I've been doing ok on my eating. Trying to pay attention to the sweets. I was down to 194 the other day, but it came back up the very next day. I must add that I haven't been weighing in at the same time every day, because I've been too busy to do so.

Anyway, I don't have alot of exciting stuff to say, I just wanted to update ya'll. Have a great day!!

Current weight: 195 lbs

Statistic

Still at 197. It's the candy. The ice cream. The junk. ick. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know it's all mental, but dang it's hard to get back to eating how I was when I was losing weight. At least the upswing has stopped now.

Food so far today:
Breakfast -
1 can diet coke
2 boiled eggs
1/3 of a small apple fritter donut (I gave the rest away so I wouldn't be tempted to nibble)
5 oz of vitamin water Zero

Lunch -
1/2 cup of punch
1 small plate of stuff from Hometown buffet (basically a spoon or two of a bunch of different stuff, probably equal to about 1 1/2 cups (maybe 2) or so if you stuffed it all in there)
1 piece of cheesecake
1/2 cup of sugar-free/fat-free froYo.

So lunch was about twice as much as I should have had, and the cheesecake was totally unnecessary.

I've only been on my bike once this week. Busy busy. No excuse though. I could be going to the gym at lunch and I'm not doing that either. wtf is wrong with me? I know I don't want to be fat anymore and I know that my clothes are too snug, and I really REALLY don't want to start upsizing my clothes again. Am I going to be a statistic and let my subconscious need to be fat overrule my desire to be the skinny me I know I really am? Am I just whining? I think yes, I am. lol

Oh, also, I got a call from Dr. Maccoll's nurse. They had my test results back for my 1 year check up. I'm doing great on everything, except my cholesterol is slightly above normal. It's 200 I think they said and should be 170-something I think. My good cholesterol was fine. She asked if I was exercising, and I said yes, which is the truth, but I don't think I'm exercising enough. She said that exercise will often help it. She said that I should see my GP about maybe taking something for it or other ways to help it.

Current weight: 197lbs

PIE =EVOL

It's ttotm, so I don't know if my current 197 lbs is actually accurate, but that's where I am *cries* I've been riding my bike, but also for the last two days I've been eating pie. And not just any pie, but brilliant, horribly, fattening pie. I came up with the awesome idea to make a pie in three layers, graham crust, with brownie baked in, then a layer of ice cream, then a layer of chocolate mousse. The mousse was probably the least caloried of them, because it was made with sugar-free pudding. Anyway, over the last two days I have had two 1/8th slices of that along with a few spoonfuls of the leftover mousse. The rest of my eating has been ok. Pretty much all good food. Or at least minimal food.

Last night for dinner I had a slice of pizza, just one, well two, that were cut in half so I could have two flavors. For breakfast I had 2 1/2 eggs (I didn't eat the yoke of the third) and for lunch I had a 7-layer burrito ez on the rice, with half the tortilla thrown away. That's been a pretty common theme for the last few days.

I was snacking on some chips day before yesterday though. Man, I really gotta get out of these habits. I looks so bad to see all this in writing. lol

That's all I have for right now. Hope all is well with you guys! :)

Current weight:197lbs

Facing the music

I did it.  I took the plunge and weighed myself yesterday.  I've been avoiding it because of my 4 or more months of unrestricted eating and bad exercise habits.   It wasn't as bad as I thought!! I've only gained 10 pounds! I didn't think it would be too bad, I am still a 14/16 after all.  My size 14 clothes still fit, but they are getting tight.  I really need to get back on the exercise bandwagon.  I think that would fix my issues all together.  Also, I have my next fill coming up next week, the day before my birthday, so hopefully I'll kick myself in the ass and finish out my weight loss.

I was kind of afraid that I would end up doing this.  Getting to a reasonable weight, and then stopping and getting comfortable.  I need new incentive.  It was easy exercising everyday when I got a pound a day or even a few pounds a week loss as feedback.  Ever since my band was loosened, I've felt very anti-exercise, and completely unmotivated.  I know it's just mental, but it's so hard to get past it.  I still exercise in other ways, try to get myself off the couch alot, do more active things with my kids and all that.  But I haven't really been doing a steady 1/2 hour or more per day that I know I should be.

I do walk at lunch most days.  That's about 20-30 minutes, but it's more of a stroll than exercise.  I need something more than that, really.  I really need to get back to running every other day.  Hrrumpf.


Current weight: 196 lbs.

Giving myself permission

I haven't been running, watching what I eat, or writing on this blog.  I'm not banded very tightly.  I'm depressed.  
   I've gained weight. ( I was in a 14 edging towards a 12, but now I'm edging closer to a 16 instead. )

Jump back a month or so... to the beginning of June. After my long running sabbatical I tried to do it again.  I got back out there like a champ and ran 2 miles.  Then when I couldn't do it very well, for many reasons, I beat myself up for it.  I hated that I wasn't able to run like I had just a month before that.   Which of course is stupid thinking.  I had just started a new medication for manic-depressive disorder and it was throwing me all out of whack, I also hadn't been taking my asthma meds and that didn't help any either.  All the other times I'd run, I was on my asthma meds.  What did I think?  My asthma was just gonna disappear??  Well, I tried this I think... twice... and gave up.  I stopped caring at all.  No running, barely any walking, no exercise at all for a week.  Then I tried the elliptical once.  That wasn't too hard, but I did it at work, and it was hot and sweaty and inconvenient.  Excuses, excuses, excuses.

Ugh.

Now, here I am, I haven't run since then.  Over the last weekend, which was a long one, I took a 4 day weekend to take a little mini-vacation to Portland, I walked ALOT.  We toured Portland, went to the Saturday Market, and a Sand Castle building thinger.  We also took a walking tour of Portland's haunted places.  All fun, but tiring.  My legs were KILLING me.  I was happy I did it though.  I didn't cry about the pain, I just kept walking. Sunday on the way home we even stopped at the beach... and uh.. walked.  lol

Yesterday, after having some time to rest, I went for a run.  Yay!!  Only about a mile, and I felt like I was dying the whole way.  I stopped every now and then to walk, but I ran most of it.  I did a good job.  I've decided that instead of beating myself up for not being able to run 3 miles, I should give myself permission to fail a little bit.  

Its better to try and fail then not try at all, right?

Current weight:  ?

Pain

Ok, I give. I thought I could outsmart the band and let it heal without having to get an unfill... I was wrong. Ouch. My stomach has been hurting for 2 days. I've been puking like crazy, and have some awful acid reflux. To the point that I've been sleeping on the couch again so I can sit up while I sleep. Last night I was laying down and sleeping for a bit and some bile came up and tried to choke me. It made me cough, which woke me up. Then I went to the bathroom and puked. That was not pleasant. The food had already been sitting in my stomach for a few hours and was very acidic. I think it even gave me a sore throat.

I'm gonna see if I can get some taken out, but not all. I don't want to do the full unfill again, ever. I called to see about making an appointment this morning - I left a message. It'll be a few hours before they get back to me. Hopefully they'll have something open on lunch so I can get it done then.


Current weight: 185?

Weight Update

I've been stuck in the 180's for the last month. I think I need more fiber, less candy. But on a plus side I'm down to a size 14 in all my stuff now. Boo-ya!

Current weight:185 lbs

February!

Wow, this year is already speeding by. It feels like the day after New Year's and yet it's actually February 1st! I haven't been working out in the last week cause I've been sick. I had a bad cold. It was no fun. I'm feeling better today though, so I should be able to get into the gym today.

Since my fill my eating has been much better. I am not hungry all the time, which is great. I'm a little too much I think, because I've been close to PB'ing several times, I actually did like twice because I pushed it. One was at Olive Garden. It was just so good, I ate till I PB'd, paused, and ate some more. lol I'm bad, I know.

For the most part I've been good though. The hardest thing I've been dealing with lately has been getting enough liquids and protein. In fact, I'm eating eggs right now to get some of that protein!

So anyway, it hasn't been a good week because I've been sick, but I think being sick must have not been all bad because I lost several pounds this week.


Current weight: 186 lbs.

Still losing

Number of pounds down:

Well, apparently I'm still losing weight. I feel like I've been eating a lot lately, but I guess not. I'm sure my metabolism is better than it used to be so maybe that's part of it. Also, I've been doing muscle building exercises for my thighs. I'm trying to keep them in shape for when I can really exercise again. I have to be careful though, to make sure my heart rate stays down when I do them. So I only do them till I start to feel a little warm and breath heavier, then I stop and take a break.

Sorry for not posting recently. I meant to on my last official weigh in day, last Tuesday, but I got sidetracked. Also, when I'm not losing weight daily it's harder to get excited about posting. I feel like I have nothing to give you to read, heh.

In other news, I have an appointment on the 19th to add more fluid to my band. I've just been eating too much and for the last few days I've felt like I was constantly hungry. Even though I'm still losing weight, it's not very much. It's like a pound a week at most. I'd like to be losing 2-3 pounds a week. Or at least 2 while I'm not exercising.


Current weight: 192 lbs
Wii Fit Age: 21 !! lol

6 months banded!!

Well, I've been banded for 6 months. I've had my trials and tribulations, some with the band and some without, but here I stand, 65 pounds lighter than I started. I'm down several sizes, from 22/24 to 14/16 in most things. I feel beautiful and free. Free to live life more how I imagined, and free to be more secure in myself.

I'm much happier now than I was when I started. Partly because of the lost weight, and partly because I'm healthier now. I've been exercising, and I can run more than I ever was able to since I was a kid. Maybe even more than I was ever able to AS a kid. It's wonderful.

Because of the weight loss, I found out that more people care than ever before. It's not because I lost the weight, but because now I have courage to ask! I know how they feel because I wasn't scared to step up and say something. They'd cared all along, but because I'd felt so ugly before, I never knew. Looking back now, I see the signs, but I wouldn't have known because I refused to see what was there in front of me.

I love being able to shop in the regular size part of the store. I love it when I have to get rid of an item of clothing because it's too baggy on me now. I love that I'm less afraid of the camera now. I love that I have a future. I love that I can almost fit into my daughter's clothes, and that we'll be able to swap clothes soon! lol

This is the best thing that has happened to me in years. I wouldn't trade it for anything, well, for anything other than not having gotten fat in the first place.

Only 60'ish more pounds to go to my goal. Wish me luck!


Life is good. Thank you to whoever invented the lapband. Thank you.



Current weight: 195lbs.

Fill! Yes!

So last Thursday I got another fill. A good one this time. I'm up to 5.5 in my band now. Yes! I can still eat, but it's small amounts. I'm trying to be very careful to not over stuff it because I think that's what caused the swelling before. I'm also trying to get in my fluids and vitamins.

For breakfast today I had a slice of processed cheese, and 1/4 can of tuna mixed with some miracle whip.

Over the weekend my eating was pretty good. I had taco bell for dinner friday, that was probably the worst thing I ate, but it was only a single taco, so I'm safe.

Exercise wise, well, I'm doing good I think. I'm still running, I've just finished the last day of week 2 of the couch-to-5k, I did that yesterday. I read ahead and found out that in the next week it was going to ask me to run for 3 minutes straight! I freaked out a bit about that cause it seems so long... but ... when I did my run yesterday I tested myself. I did my final run segment, then when the cool-down sounded, I chose to keep running. My cool down is 5 minutes. I ran almost the full cool-down, I stopped running and half a block later it told me the workout was complete. So, I ran 90 seconds (final segment) plus the 4.5 minutes from the cool down, so, 6 minutes total! I'm a machine!! lol So I'm no longer worried about the upcoming week. It's two sets of 90sec/90sec (walk/run) then two sets of 3min/3min. And the warm up and cool down, of course.

In other areas, my size 18's are getting very loose on me. They're still fully wearable, but they bunch in weird ways now, so they're uncomfortable in long periods. I also have that size 16 pair that I got from Old Navy, and those are loose too. I still think they're more of an 18, but it was nice to think of myself as a 16. heh. It's ok though, soon I'll really be a 16! You know what would be really cool? If I skipped 16 all together. If I can manage to wear my 18's without them falling off, till I'm small enough to fit a 14. That would be sooooo awesome. hahahaha I can't wait. :)

So, needless to say I'm extremely happy. Life is good.


Current weight: 195lbs.

Hovering

I'm hovering at 200 lbs. Not going up, not really going down. I'm exercising, so that's not the issue. I'm quite sure it's the amount of foods I can eat. I get a fill later this week, thank goodness.

So turkey day was a blast. Food wise I had breakfast, then about 2-3 pm I had turkey dinner. I ate mashed potatoes with gravy, ham, turkey, deviled eggs, and some olives. I made myself a full plate, but was only able to eat about 3/4 of it. About an hour later I had a piece of homemade pumpkin pie for dessert. Exercise wise, I played basketball with the boys for about an hour before turkey dinner.

The next day, I weighed in at about 1.5 pounds down. That didn't last long though, because over the weekend I packed it back on again, going up to the 200 I'm at right now.

I've been running again though! I started up again on my running last week. Wednesday. I did the final day of week one, of the Couch to 5k. It was remarkably easy, so I moved on to week two as of Sunday. It wasn't too bad either. The hardest part was that it was so blasted cold, and I waited too long to take my asthma meds before running, so I was having some trouble breathing. I really need to remember to take my meds about 20 mins before running to really have them affect me.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm working on a project and running out of time, so have a good day! TTYL

Current weight: 200 lbs.

Not enough fill

I'm back to 200 lbs again. An even 200. I got there on Saturday and was so very excited to see the number. I've been struggling a bit since my last fill to not eat so much, but my band is still pretty wide open. I have an appointment next week to get a fill, it can't come soon enough. Its not like I have no restriction at all, because I do get full faster than if I had no fill. Thing is though, that it's kinda like how I felt after my surgery swelling had gone down, and they gave me my first fill. It was restricted, yes, but I still could eat like, pizza and stuff. I really don't want to be able to eat pizza. It's a trigger food for me. I'll just eat it and eat it till I puke and that's not good. I'd rather not be able to put more than a bite of pizza in my mouth.

Well, at least I'm still losing, albeit slowly. Well, that's all I had for today, I'm off to go play some web games on FB and read some of you ladies' blogs! Have a great one!



Current weight:200 lbs.

On the way down again.

I've been afraid, I've been petrified... oh wait! That's a song isn't it? lol (Think Diana Ross )

Anyway, I've been afraid to weigh myself. I've gained some weight. I know I have. I've been to the lapband clinic twice in the last 7 days. They weigh you every time you come in. Surprisingly though, I haven't gained as much as I thought. This morning, I was looking in the mirror, and felt like I was skinnier. So I figured I'd better start weighing myself again, just to know for sure. You know? So I did. And I'm back to 201! Whoop whoop! I'm surprised too. Because I feel like I've been eating an awful lot. Must not be though. I'm probably still going to ask for a new fill in a week or two though, because I'm definitely eating more than I should.

Ok, so on to the other part of this story. So, as you all know, I had all my saline taken out on the 3rd, and had some put back in on the 12th. Well, it wasn't enough, so I went back on the 13th... yes, Friday the 13th, and had some more put in. It was not a fun experience, lemme tell ya. So, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my port is slightly askew. It's tipped a little to the left so when they poke me for fills, they have to go in at a slight angle. Now, ordinarily this wouldn't be a HUGE deal, I can take a little bit of needling (heh) so long as I get the little pain shot first, but this. This hurt. Not fun at all. The needle going in wasn't the problem, because I had the local painkiller. Once it was under the skin though and he missed the port... that hurt like a motherf*****. He missed about 6-8 times. I lost track at one point because I was trying not to cry. He finally got it, and added more saline. He went back and forth on it and finally decided to put me back where I was before the removal - 4.5. I was surprised, but not unhappy about it. I liked where I was before, it worked well for me.

He had me drink a glass of water, and eat a cracker. Both went down without issue. I have more restriction than I did on the 12th, but still not enough. I'm thinking that prior to the unfill I'd been swollen for awhile. Also, I can't say this with authority, because I'm not a doctor, but I think all the puking may have pulled some of my lower stomach up through the band a bit and it was closing off the passage. When they took out the saline it finally had a chance to heal and go back to it's normal position. That's what I think anyway, in my personal expert opinion. lol

What all this leads to is that when the doc gets back to town (he's out for a few days this week and won't do a fill until he gets back) I will ask for more fill. I'm losing weight again, so I'm not sure how convinced he will be, but I'll try my darndest to convince him that I need some more. I'm eating about two times as much as I think I should. So I'm going to ask for another whole cc of fluid. Bringing me up to 5.5cc's. I have a 10cc band, so that's not too bad I think. I've read other people's blogs who had like, 7cc's in their band. I think enough fat has shrunk around my actual stomach that it's time to go up to 5.5.

Well, I'm outta here for now. Had a late night last night and all this typing is making me sleepy. Hope you are all doing well. :)

Current weight: 201lbs.

10 Pounds up.

I've been MIA because I've been busy and eating like crazy. I got all the fluid out on the 3rd, because of the damn pork chop I ate, and for the last week I've been eating everything I knew I wasn't gonna be able to get down soon. I had Olive Garden bread sticks, pizza, pasta, and lots and lots of bread! Sandwiches, toast, etc. I've been a very bad girl. Now, I haven't been eating seconds (except once) and I still wasn't eating all that much in general. Just alot of carbs and stuff.

I didn't do too bad, or at least not as bad as I thought I would. In the first week I was gaining about 1-2 pounds a day, then it must have leveled off a little because I only gained 10 pounds, when I expected to gain 15-20 in that amount of time.

Either way, I've got fluid in there now, though, I'm not sure it's enough. And I'll go back in in a week or so to get some more once this settles. It doesn't feel like enough right now, but maybe tomorrow it'll feel more restrictive. That's usually how it goes.

Current weight: 205lbs.

Lower but not as much

Ok, so I lost a little weight this morning, but not as drastically as the last few days. I've been able to eat a teeny bit more and it shows. I only lost .4 lbs this morning which isn't enough to bring me below 194, but it's very very close. I'm right on the line. So tomorrow, I should be 193! Yay me!

My teeny bit more food amounted to a few peanuts and a tablespoon of mashed potatoes. Everything else I ate was liquid or fudgecicle.

I went to goodwill yesterday to find a cute skirt. All the skirts I picked up were size 16, only one was slightly varied. It was a 16W from Old Navy. So the result was that most of them fit me, tightly, and the 16W wouldn't have even stayed on my hips. Why didn't they just call it an 18 or 20? Because that's basically what it was. It was huge. Well, compared to my current size anyway. A few months ago it would have fit. I love that it was so big on me. hee hee.

When I was waiting for the dressing room to try on my skirts I saw this cute blue and white striped shirt that's a little tiny bit tight on me right now, but still wearable. I look forward to that shirt fitting nicely soon!! :)

Well, that's all I have for right now. Have a great day everybody!

Current weight:194lbs.

Weekly Weigh-in

Well, not alot going on around here. I'm back to exercising. But wait, I think I already mentioned that. I went to a party on Saturday and got drunk, and danced and danced and danced. It was great. Wait, I already said that too, didn't I?

I did 40 minutes on the elliptical yesterday. My legs were already sore from dancing on Saturday, so it was a hardship, lol. I made it through though! I feel right proud of myself, lemme tell ya.

I'm going back to the gym on Wednesday for another 40 minutes. I'm debating on next weeks workout. Should I go for a full hour? Or try to go faster, and go for distance? Or should I go uphill the whole time? Or maybe, uphill and an hour together? Oh the choices. I could ask a trainer, but that would involve working with someone else. I do so much better alone.

So, for the rest of this week, 40 minutes tomorrow, 30-40 minutes Friday (depends on if I do it at lunch, or after work.), then hopefully a jog on Sunday. That's my plan anyway. We'll see how well it works out. Maybe I'll skip Friday and run on Saturday instead, that way my schedule stays pretty much the same next week. Yeah, that might actually work.

I also need to do my situps tonight. I was supposed to do them yesterday, and forgot. It was a busy day.

Ok, well that's all for now folks. Have a great day! And here's to lost pounds! Cheers!



Current weight: 198lbs.

ONE-derland!

Wowee-zowee! As of Saturday, October 24th I weigh less than 200 lbs. I am in ONE-derland. I saw it coming, but when it got here I almost didn't believe it. I should have taken a picture of the Wii fit screen. lol

Well, I'm gonna keep up what I'm doing and I'll just keep getting skinnier and skinnier. lol

Oh, in NSV's I went to a martini party last night, and the dress I wore was a size 16!!! Yay! So now I have a pair of 16 jeans, and a 16 dress. I am rockin' it. heh.




Current weight: 199 lbs.

Two-O-What?

For the last few days my weight has been rising a bit. I got back up to 205 as of yesterday. I was feeling pretty depressed about this, because since I can't really exercise there wasn't much I could do about it. I was thinking, "oh great, I'm just gonna gain back 20 pounds and not be able to do anything about it."

This morning, I woke up and weighed myself and got a surprise! I had lost over 4 lbs! Putting me at 201 pounds!! OMFG. I was shocked. I just sat there staring at the screen, stunned. I almost took a picture of it because I couldn't believe it. I decided that I'd save that for when I get below 200. Which I guess shouldn't be long!!

Current weight: 201 lbs.

NSV's:

1. Went to old navy, bought a new outfit... XL Sweater, and 18 stretch jeans. BOTH TOO BIG!! Yay! Going to trade for a smaller size today.

2. This...>