Second Nutritionist Visit

Went to see the dietitian again today. She said I'm doing ok. I've only got 5 more pounds to lose to be on track. So I should be ok.

She set me up with one more appointment with her, then I have to take a class in June. Gosh this is really dragging out. I was hoping to have my surgery in June... not a stupid class. At this rate, I'll do the class and then there won't be an open surgery date till Ju-fricken-ly. I'm never going to lose the 75 lbs I needed to lose in time to get the reconstruction on my boobs. If it rolls into next year it'll be another $5000 that I just don't have. This sucks.

I hate life today.

Oh, on a slightly more positive note. I had my first sleep apnea appointment today too, and the doctor is sure I have sleep apnea. She scheduled me for a sleep-over test and gave me a sleeping pill to take so that I can for sure sleep that night.

She said that I have a small jaw which makes the air hole narrow. Also, that even if I lose weight, I may still have some amount of sleep apnea.

And how is this good news you ask? Well, if I wear the CPAP thing and it helps me sleep good without loosing oxygen during the night then I'll be more alert and energetic during the day. This is a big thing for me because I'm always tired and have a hard time being motivated for anything.

Basically, even without the whole surgery thing, half my weight issues are my lack of energy to get up an do stuff, and if I'm not tired then my work, my sleep, my daily activities, my hanging out with my kids...etc... will all get better with the CPAP machine. So life will be much less stressful.


Current weight: 255
Time to WLS approval: 1 month + 2.5 weeks

Hungry

I'm dreaming of a brownie. I just ate a chicken salad, and then a half hour later 2 pieces of chicken stuffed manicotti. Now I'm dying for that brownie.

I'm supposed to be losing weight. I still have over 7 lbs. to lose. I'm not sure I'm going to make it. My next appointment is next week, and I think that's my deadline. The appointment is on Tuesday.

I'm thinking about buying some slim fast or boost and doing liquids for 1-2 days. I think that would work off about 5lbs. If I get super close to what I'm supposed to lose, I think they'll forgive me my other two pounds. Don't you think?

On other fronts, I had a stack of medical bills from my cancer last year, that I'm not able to pay. They are taking me to court for the amount I owe, and may be garnishing my wages. If they do that, I won't be able to afford my surgery.

I really hope that I can put them off long enough to get the surgery done. After that, I won't stress. I'm declaring bankruptcy anyway, but if I can't get my surgery this year, I can't get my reconstruction and I'm giving up on the whole thing.

I'm bordering on depressed because of all this. I really don't think I have it in me to fight this fight.

Wish me luck.

Current weight: 257lbs
Time to WLS approval: 1 mo. 3 weeks.

Cancer Person

If anyone would like to donate to my cancer treatment, you can click below. Any surplus will be donated to cancer research. Thanks!

UPDATE:
1/23/2009
Well, my cancer seems to be gone for now. I am in debt by about $5000 due to my weird deductibles and co-insurance. I'm looking at another $5000+ for 2009 to get the reconstruction done. Cancer sucks.