Feeling Crappy

Found out yesterday that my tubes will be taken out today. Big Plus! Awesome.

On the weight loss front, I'm doing alright considering I'm not working out at all. I'm down to 206, which will either level out or increase tomorrow, because they're putting saline in my boobs to increase them in size, so even if I lose a little weight, it'll balance out the boobs. If not, then according to the scale I will have gained. lol It's ok though, I know the real reason.

Trying really hard to get my liquid in for the last few days, because whenever I eat it's 1-2 hours before I can drink anything without feeling like I'm gonna puke. And this isn't even to the "stuffed" point of eating. It's just to the full point. I think there's a chance I may need some unfill, but it could also be because I ate too much at one point last week and it caused me to puke, which leads to swelling which leads to more puking... bad cycle. I'm trying to go easy on it now, and not even eat to full, and I'm trying to stick with soft foods. For the last two days the main portion of my diet has been cottage cheese. I figure calcium and protein. Good combo.

Well, feeling crappy or not, another pound down and closer to 199, so I'm happy I suppose. :)

Oh, one more thing... I was feeling kinda crappy about my progress because of the surgery I thought I wasn't going to lose any weight this month. Well, I was just looking at my weight on the 8th, compared to today... in 3 weeks I've lost 10 pounds. That's awesome. So really, I can't complain.

Current weight: 206 lbs.

Hungry

I'm dreaming of a brownie. I just ate a chicken salad, and then a half hour later 2 pieces of chicken stuffed manicotti. Now I'm dying for that brownie.

I'm supposed to be losing weight. I still have over 7 lbs. to lose. I'm not sure I'm going to make it. My next appointment is next week, and I think that's my deadline. The appointment is on Tuesday.

I'm thinking about buying some slim fast or boost and doing liquids for 1-2 days. I think that would work off about 5lbs. If I get super close to what I'm supposed to lose, I think they'll forgive me my other two pounds. Don't you think?

On other fronts, I had a stack of medical bills from my cancer last year, that I'm not able to pay. They are taking me to court for the amount I owe, and may be garnishing my wages. If they do that, I won't be able to afford my surgery.

I really hope that I can put them off long enough to get the surgery done. After that, I won't stress. I'm declaring bankruptcy anyway, but if I can't get my surgery this year, I can't get my reconstruction and I'm giving up on the whole thing.

I'm bordering on depressed because of all this. I really don't think I have it in me to fight this fight.

Wish me luck.

Current weight: 257lbs
Time to WLS approval: 1 mo. 3 weeks.